Masked

A phone call the previous night from a very close friend warning me to get myself a mask before coming to Mumbai was not taken seriously. Well I did go enquire at some medical shops only to get turned down saying that they don’t have any masks available. Deciding to take a risk at Mumbai I board the flight and off I go.

Arriving at Mumbai I thought that the warning for a mask was just a joke but landing in Mumbai I actually see everyone wearing a mask and moving around or rather milling around doing their work. Stepping out of the airport and on my ride to my aunt’s place I witness more of such people with masks.

The funniest part was that the masks people were wearing were hilarious in itself… there were people with the original mask the one prescribed, the medical one described as a white H1N1 mask with a yellow opening, then there was the regular surgical masks marked by the traditional green color, then there were the white ones, women with their dupattas and the best one yet, people with a handkerchief around their mouths and noses…

I have since asked a dozen people on their take in the matter and it’s pretty interesting to hear that other people too concur with me, “hygiene is good but some people take it to ridiculous levels”. People keep wearing a handkerchief over their faces trying desperately to protect themselves against the deadly H1N1 virus. Every time I see a person with this over his nose and mouth I wonder hasn’t this person realized that the virus’ that plague our country are on steroids and that will just a hanky or a very flimsy surgical mask meant for maximum protection in a sterilized environment offer adequate protection?

Agreed that personal hygiene is something that will keep the virus at bay but the fact that anything goes to the prevention of getting infected is I think a very farfetched idea. Come to think of it people who actually did not exhibit any of the symptoms after a visit to a very well known hospital actually contracted the virus. Make you wonder is it any use to actually worry about the disease, or is it better to actually get along with our lives taking care of ourselves to the best of our abilities and stop worrying. After returning back from Mumbai and subsequently travelling from Coimbatore to Bangalore by bus provided me with another amusing incident. The guy supposed to be sitting next to me got onto the bus without a mask. After sitting down I notice he puts a dirty handkerchief over his face. The funny part was that the guy nodded off to sleep and after 10 minutes into his siesta the hanky comes undone and he is back to his unprotected state.

Well what use is the hanky now? Guess the other guy didn’t think so as he coolly put back the hanky after an hour of sleeping unprotected!

It sure is funny to see a hundred people in your immediate vicinity all masked up and going about their lives hardly ever noticing the huge gap that has formed in their protective masks… Masked, it sure is.

A tryst with a red dot…

Every big city is familiar to the small red dot that halts the ever busy residents in their cars and no matter what you are driving or what your bumper sticker proclaims you still gotta stand still. The minimum time usually sixty seconds and the maximum can go on to an hour if you are lucky. Many a times a lot of us get frustrated at the very thought of getting stuck in traffic, even I was in the same category but after a lot of such instances I have actually found that I enjoy getting stuck in traffic. Although there are a lot of alternate routes that allow you to cut through the city and negate these traffic signals off late I make it a point to get stuck in it just to watch the world go by.

The way in which a pedestrian crosses the road. Each person with an individual style and stride. Some purposeful, some hesitant, some frightened, some hurried, each person a story in itself. The way in which two wheelers try and squeeze into every available slot with the good intention of being the first across the signal but every once in a while being the cause of the traffic jam.

Stuck in traffic the other day I noticed several amusing things, the first being a young girl with a rag in hand running around and wiping the windshield of any dirt, well think she meant well when she went around doing this but one vehicle owner jumped out of his car as though it was on fire and stopped the girl from touching the windshield with the rag. Guess he must have been the only one sensible enough to understand the harm that would be done to his windshield if the girl wiped it with the cloth already soiled with dirt, grime and a little water. There was another owner who was pleading with the girl not to touch his car but then after the girl adamantly refuses to back off he unhappily parts with a couple of change. Immediately after these hysteric acts your eye gets drawn to another kid in the distance.

The reason why the kid catches your attention is that at a distance he looks very similar to an ape scratching his head while in his other hand he holds a torch and some sunglasses. The left hand over the head is very similar to the actions of King Louie putting a banana peel over Mowgli’s head in the al time classic Jungle Book. Watching him with rapt attention trying to figure out what on earth is this kid up to and suddenly out of no-where appears a couple of other kids mimicking the same action. As the kids draw nearer you see that the kids have in their hand and instrument that looks like a very crude egg beater. Attached to the handle are six thin metal strips, kind of like the one found on metal hair bands, very flexible and with a small round ball at the free end. When you do the up and down movements it basically satisfies two functions scratching and massaging your scalp! In a few seconds the kids move on repeating the motion and they are followed by another batch of two kids who sort of remind you of a walking book stall…

The kids walk past you looking at your eyes and facial expression trying to figure out if you are a prospective buyer. The reason is simple they have about 3 minutes to sell you an item that cost nearly a hundred rupees and wouldn’t want to waste time bargaining with you the whole time, while he can get business a few cars down. The books they have range from a wide variety of subjects. There’s gossip, there’s information, there’s real estate, there’s decorating, there’s ads and finally comics. The choice in titles although not too wide the titles well know and classy. Following the three minute marketing experts comes the lazy bunch you want to make a fast buck without having to move a muscle.

The beggars are the most frustrating of the whole lot. They actually bring down the whole excitement with their lack luster performance and age old ways of irritating you to the core till either you part with a coin or two or growl at them and in a deep baritone voice ask them to move on.

As all this is taking place you also have the icing on the cake the eunuch’s on their round of blessing and advising. Clapping their hand in their trademark way they come and stand next to your vehicle expecting nothing less than a fiver. Perchance you give them a couple of rupees you are in for a bargain session one that is bound to end up with you shelling out more. The reactions to these reincarnated people are all the more hilarious… People lift up their windows; some go past them in the hope of not wanting to explain or rather deny them money. Then there are people who eagerly await their arrival pay them money and get blessed. Many of my friends have several stories each one amusing in its own way and charm. One had his sunglasses taken away used for the short time the signal was red and then returned back, another one has made friends with a lot of eunuchs that they know his car by heart and then there is another who was too busy to attend to one that he showed his pocket they took some money blessed him and went on their way.

By now the traffic light has turned amber and in a few seconds the green light shines signaling the motorists that it is safe to start moving. Upon getting this signal the cars bikes, rickshaws, buses , cycles and lorries(mini vans) make a beeline for their destinations causing so much trouble and havoc that you often start to wonder whether common sense is ever common. The light is right on for three minutes but we in our hurry actually manage to extend it to hours.